A cold hard look in the mirror

Let me ask you this: when will you feel ready?

When you’ve gotten that degree?

When you’ve landed that job?

When you’ve held that position for 1, 5, 10 years?

When you’ve read all of the books you can get your hands on?

(An impossible notion - they’re always writing more books.)

I heard something recently that really resonated with me, as someone who does tend to overcompensate for my fears with lots and lots of research.

“You can’t intellectualize your way out of feeling tough feelings.”

It was a moment of wry recognition of myself, a reflection in the mirror. You may often find me trying to outsmart my anxiety by staying ahead of it - “just one more TikTok about using avoidance as a coping mechanism” - rather than dealing with that emotion and then taking the action most aligned with my values.

When we’re getting ready to pursue something important to us, our nervous systems prepare to protect us from rejection and disappointment, as they’re designed to do. It doesn’t matter how many more Reddit posts you read about someone who went through a similar situation; the fear and anxiety are going to be there, and you’ll still need to get started anyway.

So, it’s OK to let yourself start.

Every one of the “experts” you look up to in your field once had to let themselves start. A lot of them also probably thought it would never work out. But, they let themselves be beginners. They started, and they let themselves learn.