On imposter syndrome

I posted something pretty vulnerable over on LinkedIn the other day.

Nearly a decade into my career, I haven’t truly felt like an imposter at work in a long time. But I must admit (and the irony is not lost on me) that once I hit *post* and people started to read, all of that unhelpful, perfectionistic, imposter syndrome-driven fear came flooding back to me.

I didn’t enjoy remembering what that felt like.

Feeling like an imposter doesn’t consume me anymore, but when I’m really laying everything out there, I still sometimes have the same doubts: What if someone doesn’t like me or agree with my idea? What if they think my ideas are so stupid that I must just be some idiot who faked my way into this job, and the one before that, and the one before that? 

Ow. That’s pretty harsh, little voice in my head.

When thoughts like these come to visit, I try to remember that I bring something entirely unique to the table. 

There is always only one YOU at the table. You are the only person who has experienced what you have experienced. You are the only person with the perspective that you have. And ultimately, YOU are the only person who can take those experiences and that perspective and turn them into that one-of-a-kind something that the rest of the group can use. 

No one else can do that! Only you. Isn’t that amazing? You’re amazing!

So, back to that LinkedIn post.

As I’ve been learning is the case quite often lately, saying the hard thing paid off.

I got to read the words of current and former colleagues who expressed they’ve felt the same way. My post gave them a safe space to share those experiences, and I received a sense of connection to my network through reading about those human moments. More and more often, I’ve witnessed the magic of speaking up, of addressing the elephant in the room, of sharing something vulnerable that requires a little risk, but produces a whole lot of reward.

Imposter syndrome was a major theme of the early years of my career, but I’ve been learning to lean in and the rewards have been astounding. I’ve decided I will no longer let fear prevent me from speaking up.

And on a similar note: I will no longer let perfectionism hold me back from sharing certain parts of myself. I won’t give it that power.

More on that later.